God makes the best pot of coffee since “He-brews”.
You’re Drinking The Wrong Coffee When:
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You’d be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
- The only time you’re standing still is in an earthquake.
- You can type 60 words per minute with your feet.
- You answer the door before someone knocks on it.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward to prevent boredom.
- You want to be cremated so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
- You can take a picture of yourself from 10 feet away without using the timer.
- You buy sugar by the barrel.
- You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.
- You earn “employee of the month” at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there.
- You chew on other people’s fingernails.
- You can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.
- You walk ten miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
- Your life’s goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
- When someone says “how are you?” you say “good to the last drop.”
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- All of your children are named Joe.
- Your survival kit has a pound of coffee & a grinder.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You spend every vacation in Kona, Hawaii.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.
We worked on a list of the pros and cons for having Hillary in office but couldn’t find any pros and the cons are still on the lose in DC.
Did members of Congress run because they thought the grass was greener there? Most of us already know it’s because it’s fertilized with BS!
Jimmy Carter’s complaining Obama hasn’t called. Are you sure? With the US’s condition we’re pretty sure Jimmy’s the only one Obama’s called.
Kobe Bryant said Obama could play for the Lakers. We think he’s better suited to play for the “Dodgers” & playing the position at “left out”.
This Govt, NSA, CIA, etc, knows your phone number, all about your money, who you call, but has no idea where a Boeing 777 & 239 people are?
Good thing there’s Obamacare-less for the next big disease. Now that CO & WA already have a need for the treatment of marijuana addiction!
Here’s your “big egos without brains”: The NAACP says you have to bring photo ID if you want to be involved in the protest of photo ID laws.
Al-Qaida army is rebuilding in Iraq. They’ve taken over Fallujah yet Obama’s proud we pulled out. Something Obama’s father should have done.
Want to know how clever you are? According to medical experiments, this coffee bean picture below is a dead giveaway. If you can find the Man’s Head in the picture within 3 seconds, your right brain is more developed than normal people. If you can find the Man’s Head within 1 minute, your right brain is developed normally. If you can find the Man’s Headwithin 1-3 minutes, your right brain is slow in reacting, you should eat more protein. If you can’t find the Man’s Head in 3 minutes or more, your right brain is a disaster . .. extremely slow in reacting. The cure is to eat way more protein and try some Ginkgo Biloba. AND YES, THERE REALLY IS A MAN IN THERE!!